How to Connect In Your Relationships Part 1

I started this post last week and just hadn’t finished it. And then my friend Sunny from Vegan Beauty Review, came over yesterday and shared something on the lines that research shows that people’s level of happiness depends on their relationships and deep connections not on how much money they make.  An entire chapter is devoted to connection in Gottman’s book, The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work: A Practical Guide from the Country’s Foremost Relationship Expert. This lead me to come back to this post.

Have you ever made an attempt to connect with a loved one and they just ignore it or give it a grunt and then move on? This usually feels like a bit of a punch to the gut. So let’s talk about ignoring an attempt to connect and why that is no good for your relationships and what you could do instead.

First, let’s talk more about what I mean by “connect.” Connection is communicating, sharing about yourself, listen to the other person share about themselves, and spending time with another. Connection helps build strong relationships. Without connection, relationships start to drift apart. When relationships start to drift apart it becomes challenging to find the satisfaction, security, and all the other positives that can be found in healthy relationships that was most likely present when connection was valued.

Take a minute and think about two different relationships you have in your life or have had in the past. Think of one where you felt a strong connection and one that drifted apart as the connection left the relationship. Can you pinpoint when the connection started to drift? Can you identify your part in letting the connection slip?

When we start to lose the connection, it can be hard to notice at first. Things that used to come naturally, now seem to be a pain such as looking away from the TV to make eye contact with your spouse as they talk to you, forming a sentence when they share something with you, or finding a way to touch throughout the day. Yet connecting could be thought of like flossing. My dental hygienist says “only floss the teeth you want to keep” so maybe thinking about “only spent time investing in connection with the relationships you want to keep.”

5 Awesome Benefits of Connection:

  • Enjoyable sex life with your intimate partner. Who doesn’t want to have an enjoyable sex life? Make sure you are connecting outside of the bedroom on a daily basis. Especially for most women. Foreplay beings with the way you talk to her, look at her, and connect with her throughout the day. Enjoying her outside of the bedroom, makes enjoying him inside the bedroom more appealing.
  • Connection builds trust in your relationship, and this goes for any relationship in your professional and personal life. Though the ways of connecting will be different.
  • Emotional connection becomes stronger. This is a fantastic way to also add to trust and knowing that you have a safe place to be yourself, share, and grow in your relationship with the other person.
  • When a relationship has invested in connection it can more easily navigate through the rough patches.
  • Feeling happier. Connection is an actual need that we all have. Without connection all sorts of negative feelings can start to pour into our heads and hearts. To read even more about connection and the science behind it, check out this article. Connection feels good. Feeling good leads to feeling happy.

These are just some of the benefits of connection. Spending time connecting with those in your life really is worth the payoff in the quality of the relationship you are developing.

Comment below with your favorite benefit that you receive from connecting with someone. Have a beautiful day and remember, you are creating your life with each action you take.

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