Hey all you lovers of love and those who aren’t so sure about this love thing! My last post discussed the benefits of connecting, today I wanted to share a few ways to connect. This is just a few ideas, not a completed list.
6 Ways to Connect:
- Put down the phone, turn off the TV, turn away from social media. Give them your attention. Look at them. Show that you are listening by responding to what they are saying, asking follow-up questions, and being engaged in the conversation. When we give undivided attention to those in our lives, often less quality time is needed to feel fulfilled vs. spending the entire day together distracted and feeling as though no connection took place because of the lack of engagement.
- Show appreciation. This seems like such a simple action yet is overlooked so often. People can tend to think “they aren’t showing me appreciation, so I am not going to show it to them.” Um… how does that benefit the relationship? It doesn’t. Period. Be specific about what you appreciate. And share often. Instead of taking someone for granted, make gratitude the norm.
- Gottman says fondness is very important. Make sure you life partner knows that there are things about them that you find admirable. Be gentle with them. Show them affection and tell them about the things you appreciate and respect about them. Also, be aware of how you are speaking about them when they are present and not. What are you putting out there about them and how are you painting your picture? Share the goods. The goods are worth sharing especially if your goal is a happy relationship.
- Mindset. How are you thinking about your partner (and others you care about) throughout the day? This will influence how you interact with them. Do your best to start implementing thinking about all the things you truly enjoy about them. And lessen the amount of time given to the things that bug you.
- Do something together. Explore the world together, create new memories, life is an adventure. There are so many things to do that vary in costs, so it is possible to find something to do from time to time regardless of your budget. Do things as a duo, do things in social groups, and even spend time at home just hanging out doing whatever you do when at home. Do something that triggers laughter.
- Touch. Hugs go a long way. A hug a day keeps the negatives away.
Take a minute and think about when you leave an interaction with someone and feel really positive. What were you doing to connect? Just keep stuff like that going and reap the benefits of a growing connection.
What is your favorite way to connect?